FREAK

A freak.
That's what I am.
There's no further understanding should be made on the hows and whys.
I just merely am.
It seems that there are simply nothing, nothing at all that could make me into something or someone better, into another level. Whether what kind of achievement would it be in, I couldn't care less.
But somehow, the sore pain that strikes as I read those words written by human itself, or spoken. Hurts like a needle piercing through my red thumping organ named heart.
Biologically, I own one.
Metaphorically, I do not.

And how I wish I do not.

The never ending dullness that seems to haunts me wherever I am tires me.
Like splitting my soul into two. Making it cry and laugh at the same time.
Out of despair, out of disbelief, and perhaps a tint of sadness.

Maybe... Just maybe.
One day, I could just throw myself over something, impaling my middle body over it.

Maybe then, those pain wouldn't hurt that much anymore.

I do hope my arrogance would be coming to an end. To see that it always stirs such nonsense out of the both of us makes me feel so old.
Perhaps I should just accept the fact that I would forever be considered in between.

Never the best. Never the worst.

Just like I've always been.